Victor Porton's Christian Weblog

In my first church (a Baptist church) one the same preacher (the pastor) was preaching both:

• You should not meet with girls.
• You should marry as early and as quickly as possible.

I confess that these preachings have confused me (How one can marry without meetings with girls?) and being severely confused I did many sins.

[More:]

They (preachers of that church) have told me that preachers never mistake when preach from the church pulpit. How I could know that time whether preachers mistake or do not mistake? I was a new inexperienced Christian and had yet no knowledge about preachers. So I was thinking that preachers never mistake when preach from the church pulpit. (Later I have understood that they mistake. Well, I have not ceased to believe God and Bible, now I just do not believe preachers anymore, I myself am a preacher.)

So, because I was completely believing the preachers and the preachers was preaching a contradictory thing (It is not possible to marry without meeting with some girls to know them before.) there were a contradiction in my mind.

My mind was (temporarily, until I have understood that this was a mistake) broken by these preachings. Being broken (completely messed up regarding any issues related with sex, marriage, relations with women) I have committed many sins. I could say that I was mad on this issue that time.

I noticed that when there are a contradiction (mis-teaching) in our mind we tend to choose to follow after flesh.

Regarding these occurrences the church preachers were guilty much more that I myself. They have messed me with their wrong preachings, I was unable to not err being messed up so much. My main guilt would be that I have believed them, but yet how I could able to know that they mistake without any experience before?

And their guilt seems very big for me, I now consider it a very big sin to say I never mistake! (or preachers never mistake or church meeting never mistakes).

Oh, it seems a requirement of the reason to insert here my keyword naive about myself that time

Note that I myself now preach about the same issues:

• You may meet with girls (or guys if you are a girl), only you are to control yourself and to not desire to have sex now with she until the final marriage choice is made.
• You should either marry or not marry at your own choice as you understand it, you may marry it in different age as it is appropriate in your particular case as you deem best yourself.

BTW, God may give a prophecy who should be your spouse, but you are to choose your spouse yourself not by a prophetic command from heaven (contrary to some preachers teach). Bible never teaches to wait for special God given love but simply to choose a spouse which you like. However, well, your particular case may be different, you may wait for a heavenly direction who to be your spouse; every particular case may be different. (Believers may marry only with believers.)

I decided to confess about these sins to be clear what has happened for anybody who could probably watch me doing such sins.