Victor Porton's Personal Weblog

Anybody lives either for himself or for others.

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Christian reasons to live?

Well, we, Christians, live for God, you may say. Is it really an argument to live? It isn't. (Php. 1:23-26) 23 But I am in a dilemma between the two, having the desire to depart and be with Christ, which is far better. 24 Yet, to remain in the flesh is more needful for your sake. 25 Having this confidence, I know that I will remain, yes, and remain with you all, for your progress and joy in the faith, 26 that your rejoicing may abound in Christ Jesus in me through my presence with you again. To depart (die) and to be with Christ is better, to live for God is better to die for God. St. Paul lived on the Earth for other people.

(See however also this message for an argument against suicide. An other reason to live is that you (probably) may be not prepared for death by repentance under name of Jesus Christ and go to hell...)

Somebody also may live for science, for art, etc. But all these things are done better in heavens. Nothing of this is a reason to live.

Either for yourself or for others. My problem

So, the only remaining arguments to live is either to live for yourself or for others.

Some people want to live for themselves by any means, they even want to live if they would live like a swine or even a plant. I don't count myself to belong to such people who would want to live like a swine, that is to eat and to drink.

But what is life for yourself if science, art, etc., etc. are excluded (and these are excluded from the reasons to live as I've mentioned above)? It is life like a swine!

So, I have shown that to live for yourself is excluded from the reasons to live (except if you want to be a swine).

The only remained reason to live is to live for others.

God's commandment to choose life

Oh, well, there are one more reason to live: the commandment of the Lord (Deu. 30:19) ...choose life, that you may live. We simply must obey the commandments of the Lord and so we must live.

But personally I cannot live accordingly this commandment; if I would be just commanded to live by this commandment, I would have no reason to do anything except of to live like an animal only eating, sleeping, and drinking. This commandment is not enough, we need something more to understand why to live because otherwise we will not understand how to live.

World has no reason to live

No let apply this to me and to the World (by World I understand here all other people except of me). Does World do live for me? I hears that it tells that it lives for me, but I don't see this but the opposite that it lives against me, so that I'm alive only because I have struggled against World for my life. World has no reason to live for itself, and it does not live for me, so World has no reason to live.

Many people would say, How you compare yourself with the World? You are of so different sizes that cannot be even compared. I cannot count World more important than me because of World has greater number of people; if I would count this way, I would also give priority to a 20 people band which killed one man rather than to this man. (Their decision to kill him is more important than his decision to live because there are much more voters, isn't it?)

So other people do not have a reason to live because they don't live for me.

But it turned to be a problem for me: If other people have no reason to live how then I can live for them? How I can live for somebody who himself lives for nothing? Isn't to live for him also to live for nothing?

Hard problem of my pride (counting myself as the best man)

So, if I decided to live for others, then I need to decide for who exactly to do good in a particular situation (today).

How to decide? Shouldn't we live for these who are better? (What else, to live for criminals, for scoundrels? how to do this not being criminals ourselves? Shouldn't we help good persons against bad ones?)

So every time when I want to do good I need to decide for whom to do good.

But (almost) every time my reasoning was producing the result than I am better than an another person, and so to left the good for myself rather than for others. What is my main criterion for who of two is better? Whose goals are better. But what is my criterion for whose goals are good? It is these goals which agree with my goals! So who is the better man accordingly my opinion? I!

Oh, well, even if this is a mistake, the problem have been being that I was unable to correct this mistake, knowing no way to correct it. That is every time I was repeating the same mistake despite of knowing that it is a mistake. Even more, my reasoning were producing the answer go killing everybody on your way, they are too bad to live, about which I know for sure that it is wrong because Bible says, don't kill! I have been being like a scholar solving a math problem but every time finding that the answer does not agree with the studybook.

So, every time when I was choosing whether to do something for myself or for others, to left something to myself or to give to others, I was considering myself better than that other man, so counting better to do for myself than for him, to leave money to myself than to give him.

So how I am able to accomplish the principle to do for other as I want for myself? I remember this principle and realize that I should follow it, but every time I have a reason to do for myself only.

Yes, Bible commands (Phil. 2:3-4) 3 doing nothing through rivalry or through conceit, but in humility, each counting others better than himself; 4 each of you not just looking to his own things, but each of you also to the things of others., but I have been knowing no way to accomplish this (no formula how to count others better than myself). I have been knowing that the correct answer is Php. 2:3 but in every particular occurrence my reasoning have been producing an other wrong answer. What a good if I know what is the right answer but don't know how to correct my solution?

Prize for love to these who don't love you

Note also that Christ Jesus will reward these who love not only these who love them.
(Mt. 5:46) For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Don't even the tax collectors do the same?

The reason for the prize for this is that it is a complex problem, to love these who don't love us is hard. (If it would be simple, why would be the prize?)

My unemployment problem

And how I can serve as an employer while I think that I must be the chief, more I must be the owner of the business as they must grant me the shares for free as I'm a better man, and then they must by their own will become my slaves to serve for my goals, they must kneel before me and plead me to teach them how to accomplish my goals? (Huh, wrong? But what may be better for my goals, how you think?) As they don't do this, they are bad people, they even are not worth to live... But most companies (at least here in Russia) require employers to say (in fact lie) that they want to work for them, have the purpose of carrier grow namely in this company, agree with company's purposes and opinions. So I has become very poor, being unable to find a job. [BTW, want to employ a programmer?]

Why to work in your companies, to eat? But why to eat if there are no reason to live? So, why to work?

Absurd? Like humor? Or maybe it is the main reason of unemployment problem in the World. Politicians say that they do something to solve this problem. How can I believe them, do they do to solve this problem?

Me thinking Should I proclaim embargo to Russia?

I was thinking, as people (the World) are bad, don't I participate in their bad deals when I trade with them? They violate Christian morality too cruelly, they have sex with mother, blaspheme God, etc. Ain't me being must to not participate in such deals under any conditions? If so participating in their deals (trading with their companies etc.) I myself am bad, and if I'm bad then why to live? If no reason to live then why to eat? And if no reason to eat why to trade with them?

Also: But if I will refuse to participate in their sins, would they not economically punish me (don't accepting me for a job) so that I will be driven mad (brain damaged) by hunger and do all this (stealing, killing, blaspheming God etc.) myself? (Isn't to become a maniacal killer after an insult caused by hunger even worse than to be paid by participating in their deals intermixed through with sins?) So isn't it better to sin a little with them to be paid? But, on the other side, why to keep my body clean of sin if I even don't have a reason to live? So what is their payment for my sins is worth? (For what good I could use it being a sinner? Why to live if I'm a sinner, and if no reason to live then why I need money?) See in this Web page about how I resolved the problem of sins done in madness in the relation with future life (paradise or hell) and also this Web page for a reason why I don't want to keep myself clean in the future by sinning now.

So, as I found myself knowing no reason to live trading with sinners, the desire to not participate in their sins overweighted my fear of being driven mad by hunger etc. and I finally decide to proclaim embargo to Russia (the country where I live).

I have been acting as a stupid, in fact making embargo against myself! (what I would do the next, embargo to USA?) Even worse if they would really fulfill the embargo, would it not kill many people? So, how I am better that Hitler? But I has not found any better variants. My morality left me no other variant than to proclaim embargo.

It is even more stupid: The primary reason of my embargo was that they have sinned against me, and my desire to proclaim them just embargo for this was a reason why they have been hating me and sinning against me more. The circle was closed. I was realizing that this is silly but was having finding nothing better.

I was thinking about to change my morality (as it leads to this nonsense), but any change in morality which I was able to invent would make me Hitler too; it appeared that every time when I throw away one of the commandment of Bible, it destroys the entire system of my morality and would make me no better than Hitler either. I found myself like a barbarian living accordingly a system of taboo (Russians accordingly my opinion violated some of the taboos, so I had no other choice than embargo), but I found nothing better that these taboos. Isn't a civilized man (without taboos) even worse than a barbarian?

Finally I considered the variant to throw away holiness and live not as a saint but as the rest of people. It is also a nonsense, I have no reason to live like them and no way to motivate myself to live as they.

In my future messages in this trackback I will try to explain how sacrifice of Jesus Christ stopped me. When I was trying to make embargo, I noticed that I cannot do it, sacrifice of Jesus crossed with my decision to make embargo and stopped me. So this cross is the exit from the closed circle about which I have told you.

I can't explain it here in simple words. So now I will say only the answer There are a reason to do good even for your debtors who refuse to pay you the debts, like as if they would be good people. (Hint: It is because of Christ was sacrificed for people, paying for their sins.) I will try to explain why it is so in the following posts, see this trackback for future additions.

I was analyzing different systems of morality from the entire spectrum from hedonists and egoists to altruists and every one of them were with a critical defect. This problem can be solved only through understanding of sacrifice of Jesus Christ.

Only trade is not enough

Trade economy is often (however not always) good for fulfilling the purposes of economical development. But maybe the main problem here is that trade cannot give us a purpose, make us to want.

I do not see a reason to work for World economy if they do not give me food, Internet access, etc. for free. Suppose even I would become a milliardaire. But even then what good in this if I don't have it for free? If I would be a milliardaire I would anyway want the possibility to have free food, Internet access, etc. (or free money).

And an outcome was that I was not wanting to work, and so during time felt myself becoming lazy... I was in need to invent a a reason to work, but was unable to invent it.

Proud man under hypnosis

Once, I met a man from high estate. He was rudely boasting that he surpasses me that he has control over events, over me, etc. To humiliate him I hypnosed him and commanded him to stay at his knees before me and to praise me, to call me my master. After I returned him from the hypnosis he again started to tell that he has control over me. I was trying to make him to remember that seconds again he was singing me praises and calling me his master, but it was missing in his memory. I put him back and forth to hypnosis and to conscience several times every time trying to make him to remember, but with no success. There were no intermediary state, he was either under my control and continuously repeating that I'm under his control.

What this silly story may teach? A similar thing was with myself, I had not intermediary state!

Isn't progress of science defined as helping poors?

Consider also a more concrete case of the problem: Suppose I want to live for the progress of science (here it does not matter whether I really want to live for this, I only show an example). I know no other criteria of progress of science except of economical measurements. Yes, I know that it is a wrong criterion, science and economy are two different things, but I know no better criterion. How I'd define progress of economy? Is it when millionaires become milliardaires? I see no sense in this, a man cannot eat for million USD. In fact nobody can really be a milliardaire as nobody has the ability to (usefully) spend milliard of USD for himself. What is left to define the progress of economy? It is when poors cease to be poor. Oh, well, this is also not a criteria. What is to be not poor? To be feed well? What this means, does this means to become ill with thickness like a swine? Isn't then a good idea to develop economy by growing many well feed swines? Why to feed people, isn't it simpler to do with swines? Oh, well, let's restrict it to people; then I have a great idea how to raise economical level, give all civil rights and money to these idiots from lunatic luciliums which are people but are stupid like swines. So just to raise all poors is also a bad criteria for reasonable economical grow. The only thing left is to raise estate of these poors which are clever. (Does anyone else have a better idea how to define economical grow? I don't.)

So what may be a scientific discovery which may harm poors? Is it progress of science or regress? It would be clearly a regress of economy (an economical crisis), but above I decided to count progress of science the same of progress of economy, so would this also to be counted as regress of science?

Grant trillions USD to USA?

Now suppose I do a mathematical research. What is it? Isn't it the same as if I would got some thousands of milliards of USD from my big personal cash and granted these to high technology countries to make their technology even higher? The issue is whether this will be good or bad for poor mathematicians (I have no other criteria whether it is good or bad for the World economy and so no other criterion whether it is progress of science or maybe regress). I'm not an economist, I don't look into World economy maps (Will I understand them not being an economist?), and I don't consult with professional economists because they don't want to consult me for free and I can't pay them. How to not remember (Luk. 6:39) He spoke a parable to them. Can the blind guide the blind? Won't they both fall into a pit?.

So what is my criterion whether it helps or harms economy? My the only (stupid and silly) criterion is whether it will be better or worse for myself (where else I can find an example of a poor mathematician?) It is a silly criterion but it is the only criterion which I have. What then? If publishing my discoveries on a Web page will profit me then I judge this to be a good deal, if not then bad (for World economy) deal.

Does the Web advertising company work with Russians? do they use a suitable payment mean (e.g. e-gold or MoneyBookers) instead of the most unsuitable US checks or PayPal which is masqueraded stealing of money by Americans? does Russian government allow me to receive money from the overseas in the suitable form? do my relatives steal my money so that I don't really receive them? does Russian police protect me from stealing? does post office works without failures so that the check is not lost in the way? These could be the test questions to answer for my decision whether I would grant USA some trillions USD for free.

Like in a humor I again find myself being able to do good only for myself but not for others.

Thanks to God for happened

Probably the main source of my problems was that I was afraid that Russians will do so bad, that I be in must to proclaim them embargo (that is to lie embargo onto myself in fact). Now I see that I now have not to afraid it anymore. (Heb. 2:14-15) 14 ...that through death he might bring to nothing him who had the power of death, that is, the devil, 15 and might deliver all of them who through fear of death were all their lifetime subject to bondage. It was about me, I was afraid that will lie embargo and die from hunger, because of this fear my life was such that I was living in Russia as a de facto slave (poor, often beaten, etc.) as all my actions were under effect of this fear. I don't say that Russians are innocent regarding my problems, but in fact I was living under my own embargo.

At the end of this message I thank God for this happened, as in no other way I found the practical significance of the sacrifice of Christ (how to apply it to economy) as through my poverty and my failed attempt to proclaim embargo to Russia. (I just realized that I has reached a limit of my possibilities, proclaiming embargo appeared to be impossible for me due religious reasons which restricted me. Before I was imagining myself proclaiming embargo. But as I really attempted to do this my mind has seen itself in action (or rather inability to act), I now better understand myself, so I have significantly changed my mind. I was supposing that I am able to do this, but contrary to my wrong opinion about myself found that I cannot, so an important mistake in my mind was corrected. (Falling in mist airplane cannot fall anymore when it unexpectedly has touched the ground, yes?)

I count the outcome of this psychological experiment which God has made over me much more valuable than all losses, as I was unable to come to this conclusion myself through meditating without an experiment.

(Php. 3:7) 7 However, what things were gain to me, these have I counted loss for Christ. 8 Yes most assuredly, and I count all things to be loss for the excellency of the knowledge of Christ Jesus, my Lord, for whom I suffered the loss of all things, and count them nothing but refuse, that I may gain Christ 9 and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own, that which is of the law, but that which is through faith in Christ, the righteousness which is from God by faith; 10 that I may know him, and the power of his resurrection, and the fellowship of his sufferings, becoming conformed to his death.

One more example of me as unpaid hero

Russians, you have a reason to thank me! If I would be Russian President, I would immediately given me the Star of Hero medal, as nobody will be able to make Russia an embargo after me. Lo, it is one more example for my problem: From now on Russia (which has taken on yourself obligation by its laws) must pay me about $1000 per month (the reward of Star of Hero), but as (I deem) Russia is not going to accomplish its obligation, it is in debt to me, and so it may lead me to the conclusion that Russia is bad and I must proclaim them embargo and me to die of hunger. Thanks to God that I has found a solution.

See also

• My message about the purpose of life of Christians